It's Been One Heck Of A Ride!On my 37th birthday, my friends took me to Six Flags to celebrate. Since I had never been on a mega-roller coaster in my life, they thought it was a great idea. I, on the other hand, wasn't so sure. I'm prone to puking on merry-go-rounds and passing out on anything higher than the second floor of JCPenny's.
But I went along with their plans. Not because I enjoy puking and passing out, but because I wanted the challenge. I wanted to find out if I had the stomach for it--pun intended. The ride up the roller coaster was fine, but as we headed around the bend, and I could see the slope, I started to get really nervous. My life started to flash before my eyes. There was my dad in his fishing gear. Over there was my seventh grade boyfriend, What's-his-name. And way in the back was the book I never wrote. Down the slope we went! Fear kept my eyes shut the entire 90 seconds. I could feel the cold wind burn against my face. I'm not sure, but I swear I tasted the bitter guts of moths. My hands hurt from gripping the grab bar with every drop of adrenaline my adrenal glands could pump out. My arms and legs ached, and my head felt like it was going to burst open. When the ride finally stopped, I felt exhilarated and exhausted. That's how I feel right now, right in this moment. Exhilarated and exhausted. I am at the end of my master's program. I have two days left before everything is submitted and ready for review. For several weeks now, I've been pulling what I call all-day-ers. I've been working on homework, blogs, videos, posters, and the website for my capstone project. I feel exhausted...and exhilarated! This year has been a roller coaster ride. There were events that I never anticipated when I signed on as a Touro graduate student. 1. The rat infestation. For the first three months of school, I literally taught in a storage room because the EPA quarantined my classroom. 2. I lost my students. It was like musical chairs. Groups of kids came and went. I spent too much time searching for my experimental and control group of kids. I needed the data. What else could I do? 3. I was laid off. Smack in the middle of my master's program, I find myself without a job. 4. I'm hospitalized. I was hospitalized FOUR times due to a mysterious respiratory infection. Probably from the rats. 5. My dogs are hospitalized. First Ellie, then Chloe, then Bailey, and then Teddy. At different points in my master's program one of my furry babies was in critical care. I was forced into a dilemma no fur mama wants to be in: my degree or my dog. $7700 later, everybody seems okay. 6. Poison ivy. At the beginning of the summer, when I should be focused on finishing my master's program, I decide to pull out that strange plant growing out of my hedge. An hour later, I have stinging blisters all over my fingers, hands and arms. What gives? I need those to write my capstone. 7. Blindness. Seriously, I start to lose even more of my eyesight. What the heck? I need my eyes to write my capstone! 8. Hives. I've developed an allergy to some mystery allergen. Usually when I'm working on my capstone, I'll suddenly break out in hives. I'm exhausted, but exhilarated. Despite the obstacles and stress, I am so proud of myself. I have worked very hard throughout this program. I learned more this year than I ever have. My passion for writing has been rekindled. Most importantly, I feel hope. Hope for a better future for myself and my doggies. Hope for my struggling school district. And hope for the hundreds of kids that will pass through my classroom door. I don't know what will come out of this journey, but I do know what I will never go back to. It is impossible for me to revert back to my old teaching ways. Why would I? That would be insane. This has been a cyclone roller coaster ride. I'm glad I got on.
2 Comments
Jane Gould
7/15/2019 09:50:49 am
Tess,
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Tess
7/15/2019 07:28:23 pm
Thank you, Jane, for your lovely words. I am fortunate to have had you as a professor. Thank you for all the support you generously gave to all of us. I, too, hope to celebrate with everyone sometime very soon. Say hello to Harry and Meghan for me!
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Tess Giner
This is my 25th year as a public school teacher. I've taught every grade between Kindergarten and 12th grade. I hope to encourage my students to love writing and reading as much as I do. Archives
July 2019
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